install theme

Who am I to you? Anonymously leave a fruit or two in my inbox.

  • Apple: I haven't really taken notice of you so far.
  • Honeydew: You fascinate me.
  • Banana: You annoy me.
  • Mullberry: Mostly I tolerate you on my dash.
  • Cherry: You make me uncomfortable.
  • Orange: I love your blog, but I'm not very interested in you personally.
  • Grapefruit: I don't care so much for your blog, but I'm rather interested in you as a person.
  • Kiwi: Love your blog, equally interested in you as a person.
  • Pineapple: I think about you even when I'm not on tumblr.
  • Rasberry: I'm not even aware I'm re-blogging from you when I do.
  • Strawberry: I wasn't even aware I was following you. How did that happen?
  • Mango: I wouldn't mind talking to you if you ever messaged me, but it's not that big of a deal to me.
  • Green Apple: I would really like to talk to you, but I never will initiate it.
  • Guava: I have no interest in talking with you on here.
  • Blueberry: Sometimes, I like and re-blog posts from you just to get your attention.
  • Cantaloupe: I often avoid liking and re-blogging your post so I don't draw your attention.
  • Watermelon: I'm not very interested in you or your blog, I'm just too lazy to unfollow you.
  • Elderberry: I've anon-ed you something personal before.
  • Pumpkin: I've anon-ed you a compliment before.
  • Kumquat: I've anon-ed you hate before.
  • Lemon: Never anon-ed you before, probably won't again.
  • Lime: We've never talked and I prefer to keep it that way.
  • Papaya: We used to talk but we don't anymore and that makes me sad.
  • Rhubarb: We used to talk and we don't anymore and I prefer it that way.
  • Tangerine: We talk on here sometimes and I want it to continue.
  • Plum: Meh.

queen-of-fallen-angels:

jaxs-the-fallen-angel:

howling-rising-demon:

princess-dickhead:

delzdesigns:

Imagine having 2 dads, and then them divorcing and dating other men. Then you’d have 4 dads.

The amount of dad jokes…

"I’m hungry"
"Hi hungry, I’m dad."
"Hi dad, I’m dad too!"
"Hi dad too, I’m dad three."
"Hi dad three, I’m dad."

What have you done

image

qalbee:

msskitty:

disregard-killed-the-cat:

INCOMING SHUFFLESNUFFLER DETECTED
AUTOMATED DEFENSE SYSTEMS ONLINE

snufflesnufflesnuffle

omg

spockisinthetardis:

marauders4evr:

Alright, folks.

I know that some of you are heading off to college.

And you’re nervous.

So let me answer one question that you’re all thinking about and spare you some awkwardness and embarrassment:

You do not need to ask to use the bathroom in college.

You do not need to ask to use the bathroom in college.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO ASK TO USE THE BATHROOM IN COLLEGE.

That is all.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO JUST GET UP AND WALK OUT WITHOUT EXPLAINING MYSELF???

aidn:

i just had a huge moment of realisation in this lecture and need to tell you all right now. in the film I Am Legend, Will Smith watches the film Shrek. this means that dreamworks animation studios exists in this universe. this would mean that the film Shark Tale, in which Will Smith voices an animated fish also exists in the I Am Legend universe and I’m not sure what this means

kyleehenke:

apparently the plural, gender-neutral term for nieces and nephews is “niblings”

this is the only thing by which i shall refer to my sister’s future kids

did-you-kno:

Colorado’s Family Planning Initiative has brought free and low-cost birth control to teens since 2009. The program has saved the state millions on teen-birth-related healthcare, but it’s not a state-funded plan. The entire $23-million budget was provided by a confidential, private donor.   Source
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